"are there any straight people in your story?”
"no they’re not relevant to the plot"
We don't fit your stereotypes. We don't want to be your fetish. We just want a place to belong.
nowherenothingmaybe asked: I would call someone who dislikes white people purely BECAUSE they are white racist. That is racist. As for saying "oh not wanting to date someone isn't harmful" you're right it isn't. But people believing you're sex-crazed, unable to commit and/or just half in the closet is harmful. Actually, wouldn't you call erasing someone's sexuality harmful? Also by your definition, that means minorities are unable to be racist towards other minorities, which is very wrong.
Erasing someone’s sexuality is harmful. But the distrust from LG people generally comes from their own oppression, which is also true for “reverse racism”. Intersectionality is complicated! At the end of the day, my position is that we need to build bridges and not walls. A gay person may think we are cheaters or promiscuous, but they never exclude us from LGBTQ activist groups, they never beat us up BECAUSE we are bisexual, they aren’t disproportionately jailing us for crimes…or at least I have never heard of such an instance.
All of these things you listed are no doubt very harmful on an emotional level and it is really, really, really, frustrating to encounter. (What idiot gave Dan Savage a newspaper column?) Sometimes it is heartbreaking. I will always cover such issues when I encounter them (I haven’t been blogging much on here lately). But is not oppression. It is prejudice, sometimes hateful prejudice. It is not acceptable. But it is not oppression.
shewas--technodanceophobic-deac asked: why are lesbians your "closest allies" as opposed to gay men?
As far as it applies to bisexuals as a whole, obviously gay men would be as close allies.
But I never see any criticism of gay men from bisexuals on tumblr. I don’t know why this is (I’ve got a theory), but I find it kind of messed up. The debate on tumblr is pretty much contained to lesbians vs. bisexual women.
I don’t know why we view each other as enemies, but seriously, we have more in common than not. Let’s cut the vitriol. The hatred between us is tearing the LGBT community apart, and the weaker the community is the easier it is to oppress us.
Your white Republican Congressman don’t care if you sleep with women exclusively or not. They hate you just the same both cases, they want to take away your rights both cases.
Don’t let them.
kikilicious25 asked: Do you think you could help me ? I think I'm lesbian but I've been bisexual for years . I want to find a girlfriend . I don't know if I'm gay or not
Hmm, I was confused at first, but I think I got it.
You think you might be a lesbian, but in the past you identified as bisexual?
That’s okay. You may need time to figure it out.
I would be remiss if I didn’t say that most of the lesbians I knew came out as bisexu before realizing/accepting that they were actually lesbians. But you shouldn’t let that make your decision for you.
As for me, I identified as straight until well into high school, and then I realized my attraction to girls was more than “normal”. So I must be a lesbian right? I was very confused until a friend said “you know, you can be both right?”
As for finding girls, that can be pretty difficult. I would see if there were any LGBT groups in your area/school. You can also ask friends if they know any lesbians.
But other than that, I once came across this quote (can’t remember it exactly) “Dating as a gay person is like looking for a job. You either get referred or you do it online.” So, try online dating. Sorry I can’t be of much help, but it’s a common problem.
Followers: any other ideas?
Anonymous asked: The way I see it, biphobia comes from heterosexual mainstream society. Lesbians can reinforce biphobia in the same sense that bisexuals can reinforce lesbophobia, both of which are unique oppressions each group face respectively. So like straight society is the source that gives biphobia power, but many lesbians buy into it for their own personal gain or because they've internalized toxic shit or whatever.
What do they gain from it?
I’m actually not real clear what caused this allegation because I don’t really see any hated from lesbians except a few very strange transphobic radfems. I know a lot of them have said that they don’t want to date bisexuals for various reasons, but again, not wanting to date someone isn’t oppression. That’s not what activism should focus on, and when it does it tends to have creepy “who cares about consent?” undertones.
In the same way that black people cannot be racist for saying mean things about white people, lesbians cannot be biphobic. They do not have the power. You could make an argument for prejudiced I suppose
I’m just real tired of treating lesbians like they are our enemies and not prospectively our closest allies.
Anonymous asked: YOU RUN A BISEXUALITY BLOG AND REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE BIPHOBIA. REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE INTERNET.
I believe bisexuals experience homophobia, but I don’t fucking get how lesbians, which are a pretty culturally powerless group somehow managed to get the power to oppress us
Plz keep using the caps lock, it really adds something.
Anonymous asked: If ur going to b this blatantly biphobic I'd rather u not reclaim the bi tag, tbh. We've got it covered.
biphobia isn’t a thing
lesbians cannot oppress us
oppression is not the same thing as “doesn’t like us”
coleytaylor said: so anon is being kind of disrespectful there
I kind of got that feeling too but I just assumed she was being inarticulate/vague with the “whatever” thing.
Anonymous asked: Hey, I'm a lesbian and wanted to thank you for acknowledging that "bidyke" is a problematic url. Personally I'm mostly "whatever" about which labels bisexual women use, unless these same women turn around and throw us under the bus. Unfortunately bidyke specifically has a history of perpetuating lesbophobic ideas (while at the same time also claiming the word lesbophobia for herself *sigh*). Anyway, didn't want to take that post out of the bi-context so I sent you this message instead. Thx!
22 day old message…whoops.
I personally don’t follow bidyke, but I have heard bad things.
I think my main problem with assuming that bisexuals can apply the word lesbophobia to themselves is that we aren’t lesbians. And I don’t mean that in a semantic way. We are different and our experiences are different. We may have more in common with lesbians that we do with straight women, but were still not exactly the same. It’s much more appropriate to able it homophobia, because that is more general. lesbians want a word to describe their specific experiences. It’s only fair to grant them that.